course feelings have their own language: a language a bit 'special. Many times, for example, the feeling does not use the language, but the mode of expression that may occur, for example, through the eyes. There is a whole literature about the language of feelings: what language we refer? Typically, when it comes to feelings, we are referring to emotional language, which occurs between two people who love each other.
loving yourself is a mysterious fact. At some point we become necessary for another person and another person becomes necessary for us then are the very ones that we want arms, arms that are not interchangeable with others. This is because it takes place a process by which we give meaning. In other words we are interested in what that person is significant, ie a process of charging, charging a number of dimensions which are all ours, we decided to keep this person, that then becomes like one of our body. This is so true that when, as inevitably happens often, there is a rift between me and the person I love, I want, I have the impression that I'll be torn something. They say the songs melodic, songs that speak of feeling "that thou hast taken away my heart, you who have ripped the soul." All these dimensions, which seem rather trivial, unimportant, in fact allude to psychological experiences are very important. The emotional life is tied to a language, which is significant. So the color of eyes, that expression of the face, the color of the skin, that way of moving the hair, become for me a language that must be read and interpreted.
Certainly psychoanalysis tells us that after all this world that I live in the moment and that seems to have no references, it actually has a very old reference. Not surprisingly, it may be true that in the end, if the first experiences of feeling have been made within the family, it is clear that these experiences have an impact later in life everyday, as an adult. So it seems that a person is looking eyes, a look, look at the bottom of the gaze of the mother. But this is after all not very significant: as I have learned a language through which I express myself, so I also learned a new language, which is what feelings, the caress.
During the analysis it is interesting to see that some people, what we commonly refer to as "unlucky in love," do not know the grammar of the language of love. So happens that can not interpret the words, signs, and always wrong. Of course, this lack of ability to interpret it very deep psychological reasons: It is on these psychological reasons that leverages the work of the analyst.
Aldo Carotenuto
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