Assertiveness is always because we are all constantly embedded in social relations where we must constantly negotiate between our and others' needs. Some situations, however, put additional strains on our assertiveness, and therefore make it more likely that we will behave in an overly passive or overly aggressive. Some of these situations are as follows:
Manage the relationship with co-workers and the employer.
relate to people who are authoritative for us (parents, teachers, authorities, employers, partners, etc.)..
unroll effectiveness and authority our leadership role in the family, at work or with friends. Addressing
properly criticism that we are done.
Farci comply within a peer group, capable of great importance especially for a young person who still attends the school environments.
express our most authentic feelings with the people to whom we are connected emotionally.
make choices in the professional and emotional level.
Know how and be able to accept compliments.
Know how and be able to refuse requests.
deal more effectively with the anxiety generated in interpersonal relationships.
The ability to be assertive has an important effect on our self-esteem, that is the opinion we have about ourselves deep, made of words but also with emotions.
Because assertiveness is involved in such a large number of situations, it is clear that if we end up not being very assertive we have great chances of having problems with self-esteem, frustration, anxiety, anger, lack of motivation or depression. All the people around us will be involved to some extent.
How can improvements be our assertiveness
Assertiveness can be improved through exercise, even if within certain limits established by our basic features. A person who has always been very shy and will never be the CEO of a multinational company that moves in a highly competitive environment and competitive, and vice versa.
is first important to understand how and in what situations we find difficult to be assertive.
For example, it may be that a person begins to observe with particular attention and discover that in most cases unable to be assertive, but that tends to become passive when subjected to criticism by his manipulative boss or parent.
Critical manipulative
Criticism manipulation are critical means to cause embarrassment, feelings of incompetence, ignorance, guilt, general anxiety in themselves, as opposed to the constructive criticisms that are aimed at the improvement, welfare or other aid, even if they can provoke guilt and anxiety generic sense of incompetence, or ignorance.
Focus accurately the reality in this way is the first step, without which we can never change substantially the aspects of our behavior that we do not like and do not allow us to better express our potential .
Secondly you will need to understand exactly why the criticisms that are made are manipulative.
Finally, you will need to improve our understanding of what it hinders the use defense capability or replication against these criticisms.
working with people who have difficulty managing the critical manipulative, in fact, usually it turns out that, potentially, have all the ability to defend itself but something inside of them stops them and makes it difficult to defend them against aggression.
Management of manipulative criticism is just one example of a context that can put a strain on our assertiveness. But this is a very important because the critical manipulation can have a powerful effect on our self-esteem and situations are quite common, at least in certain workplaces and families. In addition, criticism manipulative exercise an important effect on our self-esteem because the most effective critics of our behavior can be ourselves, just going to hit us in our weakest points. Finally, you will often find people who have been critical manipulation by important people (eg parents) that even many years later, are still alive in their minds and have a powerful conditioning effect on the serenity and life choices.
Assertiveness can be improved through exercise, even if within certain limits established by our basic features. A person who has always been very shy, in fact, will never be the administrator director of a corporation that moves in a highly competitive environment and competitive. Each person is born with the result of inheritance of characteristics (eg, hair color or have a predisposition to certain diseases) that interact with life experiences, we can not change our genetic code, and we can only change within limits' s effect that our lives and the social context in which we live have on growing our first important to understand how and in what situations we find difficult to be assertive. For example, it may be that a person begins to observe with particular attention and discover that in most situations be able to assertive, but that tends to become passive when some people ask for favors that can not say no, to be refused. Focus on the exact nature of our difficulties is the first step, without which we would not substantially change the aspects of our behavior that we do not like and do not allow us to fully express our potential. You will then need to understand exactly opposite to what people are afraid to say no and we fear what will happen if, instead, we had to do. In so doing so will progressively clear that hinder us in the defense of one of our major interest. Finally, first in our mind and then in Actually, we'll try again and again to use new strategies to deal with in a different way repetitive behavior and limiting our freedom of expression.
How we deal with critical manipulative
The presence of manipulative criticism is part of this development is not optimal self-esteem, as one of the possible ways in which other people negatively shape our image of ourselves.
Definition: critical manipulation is critical that primary aim to create embarrassment, feelings of incompetence, ignorance, guilt, anxiety generic. Definition: Constructive criticism is aimed at the improvement, welfare or aid the other, although they may arouse feelings of guilt, incompetence, ignorance, anxiety generic. Effectively address the critical manipulation is of great importance for several reasons.
1. The critical manipulation can have a powerful effect on our self-esteem. Try, for example, think of a family situation in which we are constantly criticized heavily and verbally violent, we are repeatedly undermined or devalued, our normal freedom of choice is hampered by criticism that they tend to make us feel inadequate, "wrong", stupid, bad or ungrateful. Similar mechanisms may be triggered even in the workplace or school. If we reflect, remember probably an employer, a colleague, a parent, a teacher or professor who have been critical manipulative. Such criticism, in that moment of our lives and sometimes later, they had a long and disturbing effect on us.
2. These situations are quite common, at least in certain workplaces and families.
3. Risk of us becoming too passive or too aggressive, can create feelings of guilt and inferiority, and lead us to undue self-depreciation.
4. Criticism manipulative exercise an important effect on our self-esteem because the most effective critics of our behavior can be ourselves, going to hit us in our own weakest points.
5. Finally, you will often find people who have been critical manipulation by important people (eg parents), criticism, even many years later, are still alive in their minds and have a powerful conditioning effect on the serenity and choices of life. It is not said, in fact, that time all medical injuries: the time may be needed, but unfortunately it is not always enough. Some critics manipulative, therefore, remain in our minds as if they were out of time.
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