A child has no self-esteem, but the opinion he has of himself is the direct image and constantly change their opinion of the people with whom he has to do. All people? Certainly not, but primarily those people most important, beginning with parents, siblings and all other relatives that the child attends regularly. If the parents like a child, support his initiatives and curiosity, laughing at his jokes, enabling it to break without punishment so excessive, and when they prohibit behavior, however, indicate the alternative to it, then these parents are working to build a positive image of their child himself, a healthy self-confidence and the right to be amato.In later, life will force this child to have confrontations with other people: other relatives, other children, fellow schools, teachers, professors. The successes and failures that all events will be of great importance that will help shape the progressive image he has of himself in different spheres of life: the ability to be sympathetic to pleasure in general, skills in sports and in the study, physical attractiveness. Over the years this baby will start to consolidate more and more precise picture of himself, where their abilities and their shortcomings have become clearer and more consolidated. During adolescence, however, it "opens the game": intellectual development, emotional and sexual, exposes the individual to an enormous amount of new experiences that call into play the work up to that point established, for better or for worse . New studies, new companions, the body that changes, intellectual abilities considerably more refined, first loves characterized by success and waste, will have an effect in the development of the person. At the end of adolescence, with the adoption of a work role, mental and emotional adult, self-esteem is in most cases rather than consolidated, and at this point are needed significant events since the self-image is put into discussion significantly as, for example, a great success or failure of love or business, the advent of disease or trauma that change in the negative perception of her body, an effective psychotherapy that makes me feel better about the stessi.Se 'self-esteem is fairly consolidated with the entry into adulthood, this does not mean that the degree self-esteem we have of ourselves is appropriate to our real capabilities and features. Many negative experiences or disavowal of our person, in fact, we can consolidate the image of a person not worthy of love, stupid, ugly, even if such an opinion of ourselves is very far from reality. Feel this way will generate unnecessary suffering in our lives and will impact negatively on our life plans and choices emotional and professional, but also on many everyday decisions, apparently banali.L 'self-esteem, however, is not a "thing "we have in mind and which produces its effect simply because that is within us. Self-esteem is an active thing, it is a process, a way of relating to people and the world and is also a way to interpret and give meaning to events in which we are involved. For example, if you believe you are ugly or not worthy of love, when a person comes forward to court, you might think: "Gee, you see that has absolutely no pads," or "It is clear that I teasing or needs something from me, "or, again," But how can you say, after two times I saw, which is desperately in love: it must surely be a fool. " Our self-esteem is a process, something that is a "filter" external events and gives meaning to the events themselves. This also affects our self-esteem, in turn, in this example, instead of being happy to have had a confirmation of our pleasant, we end up thinking that affect only the stupid or because someone wants a favor from us, or only for sex and we are the last wheel of the wagon. At the end of this process, our self-esteem, rather than strengthened, can be further confirmed in a negative or even worse. It's like having more hungry after eating ... The astute reader will have certainly noticed that we are using the term self-esteem in a very general: it is true. Self-esteem, in fact, is not a unique or a unitary process: self-esteem is a set, more or less balanced, overall assessments we make about ourselves and focus on different aspects of our person, such as: beauty, intelligence, culture, social status, professional skills, economic power, the right to be loved, appropriateness in the role of wife, son, lover, parent, and so on.
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