The term "assertiveness" is now widely used in a wide variety of contexts, but especially within psychology and clinical training. As often happens, however, with the same word are given many different things to each other, without which probably can be said that there is a "right" concept of assertiveness.
To get to define what is assertiveness can be useful to begin by saying what assertiveness is not: first, the passive and aggressive behaviors.
Everyone is certainly successful, for example, following a discussion with a person, to walk away and think within ourselves, "Damn, I should say so, I should do something ... but next time I will do differently." In this case we were passive.
Other times, following a discussion, we are uncomfortable with ourselves for having responded too harshly, to have prevailed on a person to have exaggerated our right to defend ourselves, in this case we have been aggressive.
Since these things are certainly happen to anyone, not to speak of a "passive person" or "aggressive people," but only "conduct", which in turn can be passive or aggressive.
The same must be said for assertiveness: There are people always assertive, but only assertive behavior, which can be produced entirely by all. Nevertheless it is true that there are people who tend to be aggressive, passive or assertive in most situations.
We can define the passive behavior as follows: a person who is to put aside their own needs, their rights and also their duties because they find it difficult to approach a situation differently. Sometimes the person who behaves in a passive way you feel frustrated, dissatisfied, anxious, depressed, unhappy. In relation to others can not adequately demonstrate what he can do and what value and thus is likely to be devalued by others as well as by itself.
aggressive behavior can be defined as follows: is a person trying to make their needs and their rights are met at every cost. In this way, perhaps, he also manages to satisfy some needs, but clear potential to affect other important elements of life: friendships, relationships with co-workers, with their partners, their parents and their children. In this way, while achieving success, those who behave aggressively are often found to be dissatisfied with himself. For
difference, however, we can define assertive behavior as follows: those who behave in assertive consider important to their needs, rights, needs and wishes and tries to satisfy them. It does so, however, that their interests should be the least damaging to the rights and needs of others and thus avoid creating a situation which could later regret.
The person who behaves assertive is not always calm and smiling or "diplomatic" The important thing is to know balance, depending on the circumstances, aggression and passivity.
In some cases, assertive behavior is to use passive attitudes: if, for example, we are talking animatedly with someone who has crossed the road, perhaps there is no need to tell him exactly what we think, if we see that in a gun!
Similarly, it can become too assertive behavior, the use of aggressive strategies: if a person on the street does not leave us in peace for 15 minutes because he wants to sell something that we absolutely do not care if we are assertive we can be pretty rude.
In summary, we can say that assertiveness, taking into account their goals and interests, is the most immediate and direct expression of emotions, feelings, needs and beliefs, but balanced, depending on the circumstances, aggression and liabilities, in order to obtain the best advantage or disadvantage for themselves the least in both the short and long term.
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